I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
