As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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