I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
did i just pee glitter
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
