I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
