I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
