I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize