Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
tell me about the fingering
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