i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
