I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
