it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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