Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
