you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
