"it" just moved
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize