do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
