Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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