in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
