my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
