haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
