and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You made out with two different species that night
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
