you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
