Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sponge bath it is.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
