anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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