I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
