Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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