I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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