just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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