I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
