you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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