I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
