the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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