it was like his penis was on wheels.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
