have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
