babies were throwing up all over the place
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize