That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize