The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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