Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The adults are the big ones right?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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