I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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