Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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