Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
