this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
