he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
