i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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