Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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