Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's blow job season.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
