does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
