Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
