you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize