Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
