Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
