i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
