just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
