my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
your room smells of hookers.
And success
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
jump out the window naked night went bad
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