How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
