I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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