he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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