What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Alive.
So much puke
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
