Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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