Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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