When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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