The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
