my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize