At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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